Are sales for your business lagging? Maybe you’re not tickling the buyer’s funny bone enough. Humor, whether intentional or unintentional, can be a mighty effective sales leads tool, no matter what business you’re in. Don’t believe us? Then take a look at the Top 22 Funniest Sales Signs of All-Time, and tell us these tactics don’t work. Go ahead. We dare you.

1. Seattle Convenience Store Sign

This convenience store has hilarious signs that are changed out almost daily. Their jokes and puns are 9’s and 10’s on a 1-10 scale every. single. time. E.g. “I wish I had a pair of skinny genes”, “What do atheists say when you sneeze?”, “Flat earthers have nothing to fear but sphere itself”. Check them out for guaranteed chuckles!

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2. Joe’s Crab Shack

The “Free Crab Tomorrow” campaign from Joe’s Crab Shack is a decades-old classic. Through this one catchy T-Shirt worthy slogan that is generally found painted on the exterior of the restaurants themselves, the folks at Joe’s have been able to thrive in up-and-down economies thanks to ambiance and a playful spirit that captures the imagination of tourists everywhere. Now at more than 182,000 likes on Facebook and a network of restaurants from coast-to-coast, the chain is one of the most successful seafood restaurants of all time in addition to being one of the funniest.

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3. Turdles for Sale

Handmade sales signs make for some of the funniest, especially when the person making them has no concept of spelling. This Internet meme is one of the most famous. We’re assuming the sale is for turtles (at least, God, we hope so) but you never know, especially with that specimen posing next to the sign. On second thought, it may be safer not to find out for sure. Maybe US Data Corporation can start a worst speller’s mailing list category and start targeting them to local grammar schools? It couldn’t hurt.

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4. Yard Sale “Divorce”

The Yard Sale “Divorce” is one that has been used often, (including in a recent Will Ferrell movie) but it’s still a funny way to go about unloading one’s junk. This is one of the better interpretations we’ve personally seen. Nice, clean, readable font; street address prominently displayed; and an arrow pointing the way. A real sense of urgency here and this person’s likely going to need it.

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5. Nice Sale Walmart!

The image quality could be a little better on this one, but what do you expect from a Walmart shopper’s phone? We think you get the point, though. While Walmart has done a lot of things right with their business model over the years, they seem to have dropped the marketing campaign ball on this one. We don’t know exactly what was being sold here, but we’re fairly confident this was the wrong way to go.

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6. A State Sale

We’ll give the original poster of this sign one thing: he certainly didn’t misspell anything. The only problem: we’re pretty certain he meant “estate sale,” unless, of course, he’s miraculously received permission to sell the state of California and the most innovative way he could think to do it was by magic marker and telephone pole. You decide!

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7. 0% Off Sale

We are going to take an educated guess here and say this sign is probably NOT for a going-out-of-business sale. We’re not sure if the store was shooting for irony here, as if to say, “Good luck finding something that’s NOT on sale. Very few items!,” but we’re confident the message probably didn’t land with most shoppers. After all, the parking lot’s not exactly packed, is it?

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8. Girls for Rent

This sign is more than a little creepy. The original poster could be anything from a landlord to a pimp. This is a great example folks of why it is important to listen in English class. Punctuation is your friend. Even so, if it is a landlord thing, why’s he/she so hung up on considering only girls? I think if I were a lady considering this, I’d have an independent team come in and check the premises for primitive gods before signing the lease.

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9. Spinach Party

Well, this is one way to try and sell spinach. We’re not exactly sure how in touch with reality that the owners of this grocery store are, but I don’t exactly recall ever attending any spinach parties in college. Who knows, though? Maybe it’ll be the next big thing. Eat a can of spinach and take turns lifting cars and punching your friends in the face while smoking a pipe.

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10. Ice Cold Cow Juice

For those of you who think the term “milk” is just too formal, enter “cow juice!” While this particular store isn’t asking us to throw a spinach party, they are asking us to reconsider the way we think about one of the most popular dairy products around. What do you think? Will “ice cold cow juice” catch on? If so, how will the “got milk” campaign survive?

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11. Free One Night Stand

Yet another example of what can happen with a few unfortunate word placements and a lack of punctuation. We’re sure that if the furniture store that pulled this one had known, they would have made the deal clearer. You buy a bed, and we’ll give you a free nightstand. Don’t expect anything elseā€¦at least not without taking us to dinner first.

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12. Wash and Vacuum Senior Citizens

Either this business owner is offering a great wash-and-vacuum service for senior citizens, or he’s created the most awesome new business of the new millennia for the rest of us. We’ll let you decide. But at $15.95, we’re inclined to call this a “Win” either way. We’ll keep an eye out for email sales lists targeting this target market and get back to you.

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There are literally DOZENS of these kinds of sales sign gaffes committed everyday here in the US. If you have one you’d like to share, or just want to comment on what we found above, let us know in the below comments. Life is tough out there. We hope the above examples of frivolity have provided you a much needed distraction, even if only temporary. Contact US Data Corporation for your next email marketing of direct mail marketing list!