US Data Corporation Direct Marketing Blog

Top 22 Funniest Sales Signs of All-Time6:59 am

By Guest Blogger

Are sales for your business lagging? Maybe you’re not tickling the buyer’s funny bone enough. Humor, whether intentional or unintentional, can be a mighty effective sales leads tool, no matter what business you’re in. Don’t believe us? Then take a look at the Top 22 Funniest Sales Signs of All-Time, and tell us these tactics don’t work. Go ahead. We dare you.

1. The Shell Apology

Okay, we’re not exactly sure which Shell gas station owner had the idea for this-details are sketchy around the web-but it certainly speaks to the heart of what most Americans are feeling, and manages to ingratiate the business that is actually charging the hefty tag. The self-deprecating nature works because it redirects our anger to another source. By distancing itself from the root of high prices, this particular station manages a few chuckles out of us even as we wonder how we’re going to make rent while spending half our income on fuel.


2. Joe’s Crab Shack

The “Free Crab Tomorrow” campaign from Joe’s Crab Shack is a decades-old classic. Through this one catchy T-Shirt worthy slogan that is generally found painted on the exterior of the restaurants themselves, the folks at Joe’s have been able to thrive in up-and-down economies thanks to ambiance and a playful spirit that captures the imagination of tourists everywhere. Now at more than 182,000 likes on Facebook and a network of restaurants from coast-to-coast, the chain is one of the most successful seafood restaurants of all time in addition to being one of the funniest.


3. Turdles for Sale

Handmade sales signs make for some of the funniest, especially when the person making them has no concept of spelling. This Internet meme is one of the most famous. We’re assuming the sale is for turtles (at least, God, we hope so) but you never know, especially with that specimen posing next to the sign. On second thought, it may be safer not to find out for sure. Maybe US Data Corporation can start a worst speller’s mailing list category and start targeting them to local grammar schools? It couldn’t hurt.


4. Morgan for Sale

We’ll give the sign poster the benefit of the doubt on this one, we’re pretty certain they meant their horse and not an obnoxious child. But who can know for sure? A walkthrough of the public school in your town may convince you otherwise. If ever there was an argument to spend MORE on public education, this is it. Our option to target worst spellers above is looking like a better and better business opportunity.


5. Sale on All Body Parts

This particular sales sign is as horrifying as it is funny. The advertised sale is likely for auto body parts, but the dirty sign and horror-movie red ink make one think that maybe Jason Voorhees is having a garage sale. Considering Jason’s creators did put him in outer space for one movie, I think we may have just written the next sequel. We’ll have our people call your people.


6. Rubber Fist

If you want to find the funniest sales signs of all-time, then the best place to start is your local telephone pole. This was found in a local neighborhood where anyone can post pretty much anything. Amid the advertisements for babysitters and used printers, we found this one pimping a rubber fist (“slightly used”). What you won’t see here is a picture of the rubber fist itself, but do you really need too? The sign tells you everything you need to know. Now, which of you would like to start the bidding?


7. Because My Neighbor’s an A**hole

It probably would have been a good idea to use a realtor on this one. Considering the person is still trying to sell their home, calling his neighbor a derogatory name might not be the best way to go about it diplomatically…at least when the goal is to attract a buyer. And if the neighbor is as bad as the sign states, who’s going to want to live here anyway!?


8. Yard Sale “Divorce”

The Yard Sale “Divorce” is one that has been used often, (including in a recent Will Ferrell movie) but it’s still a funny way to go about unloading one’s junk. This is one of the better interpretations we’ve personally seen. Nice, clean, readable font; street address prominently displayed; and an arrow pointing the way. A real sense of urgency here and this person’s likely going to need it.


9. Nice Sale Walmart!

The image quality could be a little better on this one, but what do you expect from a Walmart shopper’s phone? We think you get the point, though. While Walmart has done a lot of things right with their business model over the years, they seem to have dropped the marketing campaign ball on this one. We don’t know exactly what was being sold here, but we’re fairly confident this was the wrong way to go.


10. B&B Liquors

“Drink responsibly” is a motto that the folks at B&B Liquors don’t seem to agree with. Billing itself as a “Party Store,” however, you really can’t be surprised by the motto. While the liver transplant crowd won’t find this one too funny, and with good reason, the rest of us have permission to laugh.


11. A State Sale

We’ll give the original poster of this sign one thing: he certainly didn’t misspell anything. The only problem: we’re pretty certain he meant “estate sale,” unless, of course, he’s miraculously received permission to sell the state of California and the most innovative way he could think to do it was by magic marker and telephone pole. You decide!


12. 0% Off Sale

We are going to take an educated guess here and say this sign is probably NOT for a going-out-of-business sale. We’re not sure if the store was shooting for irony here, as if to say, “Good luck finding something that’s NOT on sale. Very few items!,” but we’re confident the message probably didn’t land with most shoppers. After all, the parking lot’s not exactly packed, is it?


13. Family Jewels

Sometimes the name of a business is all a GREAT sales sign needs. Although we aren’t sure if this particular sign brought in the customers, we do know that it’s pretty memorable, and a lot more socially acceptable than displaying “genitals” in the storefront window. This business gets a pass for clarifying its wares with a nice window display.


14. Girls for Rent

This sign is more than a little creepy. The original poster could be anything from a landlord to a pimp. This is a great example folks of why it is important to listen in English class. Punctuation is your friend. Even so, if it is a landlord thing, why’s he/she so hung up on considering only girls? I think if I were a lady considering this, I’d have an independent team come in and check the premises for primitive gods before signing the lease.


15. Circuit City

Oh, Circuit City, how we miss you. For the life of us, we just can’t figure out what went wrong. Sure, you lost $150 million betting against DVD with your highly inconvenient DIVX format. And so what if your prices were routinely higher than Best Buy’s? And maybe you couldn’t do basic math on your clearance signs. Big deal! You’re still one of the best big box stores of all time.


16. Toys ‘R Us

The slightly brutal, though accidental, honesty from this Babies ‘R Us campaign makes it a sales sign to remember. The only mistake this sales sign actually makes, however, is in underestimating the true cost savings. Forgo child rearing, and you’ll save a heck of a lot more than $600. Nevertheless, point taken, Mr. Geoffrey the Giraffe.


17. Farmer Clem

Farmer Clem doesn’t appear to give a damn about the marijuana laws in this country. While there is an off-chance he COULD be talking about actual pots-you know, the kind you put the plants in-the fact that he’s a farmer creates more than noticeable cause for doubt. Either way, 70% off is indeed a good deal on anything, so maybe we should check it out. Just in case.


18. For Sale: Not Haunted

Seriously, Jake Palmer? Methinks the realtor doth protest too much. In all honesty, does Mr. Palmer have such a reputation for selling haunted houses that he actually has to distinguish that one of his properties is not a doorway to Hell? Beats us! But it does make for a rather inventive sales approach, don’t you think?


19. Spinach Party

Well, this is one way to try and sell spinach. We’re not exactly sure how in touch with reality that the owners of this grocery store are, but I don’t exactly recall ever attending any spinach parties in college. Who knows, though? Maybe it’ll be the next big thing. Eat a can of spinach and take turns lifting cars and punching your friends in the face while smoking a pipe.


20. Ice Cold Cow Juice

For those of you who think the term “milk” is just too formal, enter “cow juice!” While this particular store isn’t asking us to throw a spinach party, they are asking us to reconsider the way we think about one of the most popular dairy products around. What do you think? Will “ice cold cow juice” catch on? If so, how will the “got milk” campaign survive?


21. Free One Night Stand

Yet another example of what can happen with a few unfortunate word placements and a lack of punctuation. We’re sure that if the furniture store that pulled this one had known, they would have made the deal clearer. You buy a bed, and we’ll give you a free nightstand. Don’t expect anything else…at least not without taking us to dinner first.


22. Wash and Vacuum Senior Citizens

Either this business owner is offering a great wash-and-vacuum service for senior citizens, or he’s created the most awesome new business of the new millennia for the rest of us. We’ll let you decide. But at $15.95, we’re inclined to call this a “Win” either way. We’ll keep an eye out for email sales lists targeting this target market and get back to you.


There are literally DOZENS of these kinds of sales sign gaffes committed everyday here in the US. If you have one you’d like to share, or just want to comment on what we found above, let us know in the below comments. Life is tough out there. We hope the above examples of frivolity have provided you a much needed distraction, even if only temporary. Thanks for reading!

  • Great piece. Definitely worth a read. You could have probably put together a piece just from Walmart and Target alone. Every time we hit one of the Big Boxes it seems my family and I spy a sign that makes us “shake our head.” Thanks for the distraction as I start my Wednesday!

  • mememe

    Pretty sure the Morgan is a Morgan horse.

    • Mike Wilson

      Nice catch. Looks like it was updated.

  • Rose

    that Shell sign only shows $3.09 for the regular, and I think it’s $3.49 in my
    area right now. Oh, the good ol’ days…Remember when we used to think $2 and
    some change for a gallon of gas was a lot? I could sure use an apology. I
    actually Laughed out loud at the spinach party sign—there is no way someone
    meant that seriously! I’m just trying to imagine a bunch of frat boys throwing
    a kegger with all-you-can-eat spinach. Forget Popeye, dark leafy greens are a
    real party in your mouth!

  • Marcusb

    Haha! Those signs are hilarious, some are just downright badluck and bad timing lol! I love the ‘cow juice’ one, for when milk just isn’t enough! I’ve seen one or two of these signs and it’s always a great laugh when you see one.

  • John D

    Lol, this post had me slapping my leg with laughter. What a bout of unfortunate coincidences and witty thinking, it amazes me how people don’t think to proof read before they go and put up an ad or a sign! Rule 101! My favourite one was the ‘Toys’r’Us’ one, i’m sure that got a laugh through the office!

  • Ben

    A sale on all body parts? cool! Does anyone else think that is particularly Dexter-esque? That’s a little creepy considering it looks like it’s written in blood too..Love the jewelery shop called ‘Crown Jewels’ as well, that’s a great pun! Nice post.

  • Donnie Vargas

    Haha, for a moment there, I actually thought that the “Free Crab Tomorrow” sign actually said “Free Crap Tomorrow”. My first thought was “What? That can’t be right!” when I first saw that. Still pretty funny though.

  • RIMA

    Haha…Totally enjoyed reading through this post. Still can’t
    stop laughing at these signs!

  • Patric

    All the marketing people out there…you definitely need to
    read this. Humor is the best ways to attract the customer but these 22 signs
    just amaze me. Wondering how many of them actually worked? :P

  • Anna

    Sometimes you want to convey something and you actually end
    up conveying something incredibly humorous. It’s creepy and funny how someone
    wanted to sell car body parts and but their sign makes us believe that they selling
    human body parts…haha!

  • Elizabeth

    Superb signs…this makes me wonder that how someone can just
    make such silly mistakes especially when it comes to simple English grammar and
    mere punctuation marks.

  • Maria

    Yes humor is good when it comes to marketing and is very
    effective too. But then blunders like this are bound to happen. Just like the
    one where calling your neighbor by a an abuse looks attractive but then it
    fails to sell the house.

  • Mary

    Hahaha…now why would some store like to put up a 0% off sale
    sign? It’s crazy how people just put up signs without knowing what they are
    actually communicating. It’s not just humorous, it’s tragic too!

  • Daniel

    Very nice post…I had a great laugh reading these signs. For
    most of these signs, it’s the absence of English punctuation marks which got
    them here.

  • Jennifer

    Damn! I’ve never heard about a ‘spinach party’ before and
    the new improved name of milk ‘cow juice’. It clearly shows their desperation.

  • Charles

    Awesome post. My favorite is the 21st one: Buy
    bed and Free 1 night stand…haha! It is so hard to use English punctuation

  • Linda

    Very well written post. I finally get to see the humorous
    side of marketing which is basically because of some ill-timed quirks.

  • John

    Yes, this post did manage to distract me…I myself have seen
    some funny signs and its always a great moment to laugh at their bad luck! :D

  • Mark

    Great collection of funny signs I must say. These days it’s
    not that hard of find such blunders happening all around u…I had a great laugh!

  • Harold Clark

    Personally, the Shell one is my favorite one. It just made me laugh that they are apologizing each time we buy from them. Although it does make sense with $4 per gallon nowadays.

  • Billy Whigham

    Haha, can’t believe someone named their jewelry store “Family Jewels”. Although it is pretty easy to remember.

  • willie cole

    I have to admit the sign with the bed is the one that made me chuckle the most. I’m wondering if they actually did that on purpose.

  • David Mitchell

    Great! I wouldn’t want a house that was haunted. I mean, who wants the grudge to sneak up on them?

  • Laura Jones

    Cow juice is pretty correct in my opinion. Still funny pretty funny to me though. Never heard someone call milk cow juice.

  • Wolf Evelyn

    Where can I get that sign! It’s just so funny. And I would love to use that sign when I move out. I mean, it’s the truth, neighbors are sometimes assholes.

  • Walter Hinason

    I wonder how many people went to that farm thinking that the sign was actually real. Be really funny to see some people in the crowd going “WHERE’S THE POT??!!”

  • Denice Surratt

    Where do you find these signs? They are hilarious! I just wish that more people would hang up signs like these. It would just make my day.

  • tara beyer

    What a fun way to blog!

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  • arron

    My favorite was the one with the halfwit selling ” turdles”. This guy doesn’t have a clue

  • Face McSpecies

    Thanks for including our “Turdle” pic in you Top 22 list! When we aren’t busy inventing traffic stopping couture, (see Brief Jerky – beef jerky underwear) we thoroughly enjoy highlighting the best/worse signs we can find. Thanks again for including us.
    -the Mixed Species guys-

  • B.Michael

    Just want to point out that in the 0% off, they were in ther process of changing the # in front of the zero…

  • Robin G

    My favorite was selling the house because of the neighbor. roflmbo



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